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I f**king hate Big Brother

June 7, 2007

Welcome to the first of my random rants on the new blog.

The blog has been a bit bereft of non poker posts, come to think of it’s been a bit short on poker related ones too (note to self - must pull finger out).

I quite enjoyed popping in the random posts at the old blog 4kingpoker losses like Fete Watch Friday, Wordiscle Wednesday & Random Weather Reports - post a comment if you want more of the randomness back ;-)

Anyway back to todays random rant … OK so unless you live in a soundproofed box on a deserted island you can’t have failed to notice Big Brother has returned for an 8th series. Increasing the pollution to our airways with yet more absolute dross.

This time back with an all girl collection of the vain, insane and inane.

I hate all this wanabee celeb reality TV - I’m sick of it everywhere, on every damn channel - It’s just total bolox.

What scares me even more is clearly I’m in a minority judging by the amount of retarded wanabee celeb worshipers who sit like scopers glued to the TV and text voting away their weekly wages.

Two dumb ass twins

Social Workers ? God help anyone with an ASBO

So I’ve wasted 10 minutes of my life watching Big Brother 8 just to check that it’s just another bunch of tosspots and 15 minutes of fame merchants.

NB I had to do it two sessions of 5 minutes as my ears & eyes started to blead after a couple of minutes.

What did I see in this 10 minutes of prime time TV ?

A house full of girls badly dressed for no apparent reason as 80’s style rappers. The highlight of which seemed to be an old bird dancing like David Brent trying to get down with the kids.

In the next 5 minutes of pain - the same old girl doing cartwheels still trying to get down with the kids and another middle aged lady who looked a bit like Germaine Greer who seemed like she was already wondering how the hell she’d agreed to be locked up with these morons.

Reality TV - The Solution

I have a solution to solve the whole reality TV thing once and for all.

Spend all the money raised through text voting for this pap on a big TV advertising campaign along the lines of -

“Star on the Biggest Reality TV Show Ever
Win £1 million and TV career on New Tropical Island Show”

Basically you then wait for ALL the applications to come in, do all the auditions etc but here’s the thing …

Everyone gets to be on the show

Then you pack off the however many 1000’s of wanabees to a desert island to “film” the show. It doesn’t really matter how big the island is so long as it’s big enough to dump them on it …

Then you leave them all there - For good

Ooh lets add another cool twist - The “TV production company” would need presenters so you get all the previous reality show celebrities on the island to “commentate” on the island, thus getting rid of them too.

I’d actually almost want to watch it - All of them acting up for the “cameras” until they realised there was no food, no real film crew, no prize and then see them eating each other alive and finally starving or boring each other to death.

But for the ultimate irony no-one would actually be filming it.

OK so maybe a bit extreme and before Amnesty International or someone takes it too damn seriously … Where the hell would you get an island big enough to put them all on ?

Hmm well by my calculations adding all the wanabees from shows like “Ballroom dancing on ice, dressed as Joseph singing the Sound of Music” and the text vote idiots taking more interest in “reality TV” than getting off their asses and taking part in reality or voting in the General Election … I guess we’d need an island about the size of the United Kingdom.

God help us all - Scrawnybob

next time … The Apprentice (Reality TV for middle management)

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